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Canadian Doctors to Gwyneth Paltrow: Stop Telling People to Put Coffee in Their Butt

Gwyneth Paltrow, for all her talents as an actress, is not a very good health advisor.

Through her lifestyle brand Goop, Paltrow has been dishing all kinds of pseudoscience to impressionable #cleanliving advocates. The “modern lifestyle brand” has shared such revelations as bras cause breast cancer and you should totally let bees sting you to get great skin.

Most of Paltrow’s alternative health claims have been thoroughly debunked, of course. Which brings us to Goop’s most recent fluff: the Implant-O-Rama. This delightfully intrusive device is an at-home coffee enema, which means it injects coffee in your butt as a means to “supercharge your detox.” And all this for the low price of $135.

Since this product is marketed by a super-celebrity, and a place like Silicon Valley exists, you can be sure sales for the Implant-O-Rama inexplicably exist. This is concerning for Canadian doctors, who’ve recently come out to warn against using bogus cleansing methods that have no medical foundation.

“I think this is absolutely absurd, potentially dangerous and there’s no way the consumer should consider using this product,” said Tim Caulfield, a health law expert at the University of Alberta, in an interview with the CBC. “You could do damage to your bowel.”

Paltrow advises that the product should only be used by “those who know what they’re doing,” which reasonably excludes 99% of the population. She claims coffee enemas provide “relief from depression, confusion, general nervous tension, many allergy related symptoms, and, most importantly, relief from severe pain.” Oh, and her recommendation is “not necessarily based on scientific evidence from any source.”

Dr. Jennifer Gunter, a Canadian obstetrician-gynecologist, offered some advice for anyone considering a java butt drip: “Keep the coffee out of your rectum and in your cup. It is only meant to access your colon from the top.”

Just something to keep in mind if you see your favourite healthy living influencer start their next Instagram caption with, “guess what else I can do with my coffee?”

Christian Nathler

Christian Nathler is a contributing writer at Notable Life.