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Toronto Can’t Have Nice Things, Beer Cans Banned From Jays Games

It was the beer can toss heard from coast to coast.

A little while ago, some bozo threw a tall boy into the field of play that saw the Jays beat the Orioles in the AL Wild Card Game.

What followed was a nationwide social media manhunt, an incomprehensibly disproportionate ratio of effort to cause.

The offender’s punishment has been decided – a ban from the Rogers Centre and alcohol consumption, which many who called for the guillotine will feel is too lenient – but this being Toronto, everyone will have to suffer the consequences of the actions of one.

Beer cans will no longer be sold at Blue Jays playoff games.

Image: Tom Szczerbowski / Getty Image

For the rest of the post-season, beer will have to be poured into cups before it can be consumed with reckless intent.

How changing the vessel in which alcohol can be consumed will deter fans from racist chants was not mentioned by the Toronto Blue Jays Communications Department.

Finally, we can feel atoned for this barbaric act.

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