In case this is news to you, size does not matter when it comes to great sex.
Neither does learning BDSM or having money to burn.
The reality is that there are so many unrealistic portrayals of intercourse by the media that we often have an incredibly skewed idea of what defines “great sex.” In fact, most of us don’t even really know what it should constitute without referencing some aspect of pop culture or being influenced by sexual ads – be it a movie, Cosmo article or, even worse, porn.
While most research on the topic of great sex has focused on a dysfunction model – finding a physical problem and fixing it – Canadian sexologist Peggy Kleinplatz and a group of 25 other authors and therapists have began looking at long-term relationships whose partners are consistently satisfied in the bedroom.
Unsurprisingly, this is a much more effective strategy than throw Viagra at it.
Their findings conclude that “the good news is that ‘normal’ sexual functioning is not necessary to experience optimal sexuality.” In other words, pornstar erections are only part of, and not even necessary within, the equation.
But that doesn’t mean achieving optimal sexuality is an easy ride. Far from it, actually. Here’s what Kleinplatz believes to be 8 essentials of top-notch sexual performance:
1. Being present and embodied
2. Feeling a connection with a lover
3. Feeling an erotic intimacy
4. Communication skills and comfort
5. Being genuine and uninhibited
6. Taking interpersonal risks, having fun (laughter)
7. Surrendering to the experience, by being vulnerable and open
8. Transcending, healing, transformation
And that’s something we can all achieve, right?
#NOTABLE
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