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Guy You’ve Never Heard of Buys Home for Amount You Could Never Imagine

You ever heard of a guy named Ken Griffin? No, not Ken Griffey, the greatest slugger to ever appear in Tony La Russa Ultimate Baseball for Windows.

Ken Griffin is the 45th-richest person in the world. Wikipedia tells me he’s an investor, hedge fund manager, and founder and CEO of the global investment firm Citadel. His headshot confirms the facts.

Ken just bought the most expensive home in the United States: a 24,000 square foot penthouse at 220 Central Park South. The place came with a price tag of nearly a quarter billion dollars ($238 million), which is a far from casual amount.

The truly wild thing is Ken just bought a place a few days ago. Earlier in the week he purchased one of the ritziest residential properties in London. In 2017, he bought the keys to Chicago’s most expensive home. He also has mansions and other luxe living quarters in

One theory (my own) is that Ken has parcopresis, a.k.a. shy bowel syndrome, a.ka. hell nah, I ain’t ridin’ the porcelain bus in public. Some like to have hoe field advantage wherever they are, others just want a familiar toilet. Another theory is that Mr. Griffin simply has too much money, and instead of managing his cash like Billy McFarland and Ja Rule, he invests it in one of the most stable asset classes in the world.

In any a case, Ken has many a place.

Christian Nathler

Christian Nathler is a contributing writer at Notable Life.