Canada’s most recent territorial acquisition, in 1999, came with relatively muted fanfare.
Nothing against Nunavut, it just doesn’t scream vacation destination.
Canadians were thrilled, then, when there was some chatter a few years ago that Ottawa might consider annexing Turks & Caicos, a tropical Caribbean paradise that we wouldn’t have to exchange our currency to visit.
“Canada really needs a Hawaii. The United States has a Hawaii. Why can’t Canada have a Hawaii?” bemoaned Conservative MP Peter Goldring at the time. Right on, Goldring. (How about a Vegas, too?)
Then came the friend zone dagger: “Canada is not exploring a more formal association with the Turks & Caicos Islands and does not consider that any such arrangement would be of greater mutual benefit than the friendly relations that currently exist,” declared Foreign Affairs spokesman Claude Rochon in an email to the Huffington Post.
But like an old flame that never fully died, there are again a few rumblings that Canada could indeed have its very own Hawaii one day. The NDP has put together a proposal calling for Canada to recognize Turks & Caicos’ potential as an “affordable tourism industry for all Canadians,” which will be put forward at the party’s national convention in Edmonton this weekend. Here’s the gist of it:
Relationships aren’t a one-way street, however, and there are doubts about the islands’ motivation to “jump from one mother’s nest to another mother’s nest,” as Turks & Caicos premier Rufus Ewing put it during the last round of discussions. That one mother’s nest, of course, is Britain, of which the 40-island archipelago is an overseas territory under jurisdiction and sovereignty of the United Kingdom.
This means there’ll need to be some negotiations with the Head of the Commonwealth, though given that Lizzy has a 90th birthday bash to plan by month’s end and some sh*t to sort out with those pesky Falklands again, perhaps she’ll just hand us the island as a sort of lifetime appreciation bonus.
Besides, we’re the ones doing all the work down there. Ewing says most banks in the Turks & Caicos are Canadian, the power company is Canadian owned, as are several hotels and resorts, law firms and even the hospital. Not to mention, P.E.I. really wants a twin.
For now, we’ll consider it a clever way for the NDP to appear on the national radar.
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