It’s almost here: your office holiday party.
You know what that means: you get to see your boss drunk, you’ll have a heart-to-heart at some point with a co-worker, and you’ll be faced with the awkward decision whether or not to show up solo or with your new, sort-of-but-not-really significant other.
Well, we’re here to make the choice easy for you.
Here are 12 signs you definitely should not bring him or her to your office holiday party…
1. He/She is Stored on Your Phone as “John/Jen from Tinder”
And at this point, you can’t even change it because too much time has gone by to ask for their last name.
2. You’ve Never Been at a Social Function Together
Sure, you may have had a good time so far just the two of you, but if you’ve never been one another’s dates to a social function, it’s never a good idea to try it on for size at a company party. Just, trust us.
3. You’re Dating at Least One Other Person at the Same Time
If you’re dating multiple people, you have no business bringing one of them to your office holiday party. Not only will it inevitably give him/her expectations, it will only confuse your coworkers when they’ve heard you bragging about another conquest for the past month.
4. You Can’t Remember How Many Siblings He/She Has
If you can’t remember how many (if any) siblings the other person has, then you don’t know them well enough to take them to your office party. Either that, or they’ve told you many times but clearly lack the ability to hold your attention – and likely that of your coworkers.
5. You’ve Been on Less than Six Dates
Even if you do know things like the number of siblings he/she has (and their names), if you’ve been on less than six dates, it’s far too soon to introduce him/her into your professional circles. It will only make you appear non-committal to your coworkers if they aren’t in the scene a month later.
6. Your Friends Have Never Met Him/Her
If you haven’t even put him/her through the “friend test” yet, don’t even think about putting them through the coworker test, especially at your holiday party. Remember, infatuation – like love – can be blind; you may be the only one who thinks they’re so amazing.
7. You Recently Ended a Covert Fling with Someone in Your Office
It’s awkward enough if you’ve recently ended an undercover fling with a coworker; don’t make it more awkward by showing up with someone else (as great as he/she may function as arm candy) just weeks after ending things. All that’s going to do is create unnecessary tension for the both of you. And probably inspire more booze consumption as a result.
8. Your Other Holiday Plans Don’t Include Him/Her
If neither of you has encouraged a dialogue about spending the holidays together and you’ve made separate New Year’s Eve plans, don’t bring him/her along to your holiday party. Just don’t.
9. If the Only Other People Bringing “Plus Ones” Are Married (And You Two Are Not)
If nobody else in your office is bringing their significant other unless they’re married, why do you have to? Not only does it take away from the bonding time with coworkers, it places more pressure on you when they wonder if you’ve finally found “the one.”
10. You’ve Watched Him/Her Fall on Flat on Their Face at Least Twice Post Open-Bar Situations
If he/she is known to take full advantage of open bar situations to the point that you practically had to drag them out of a charity event last week, don’t even think about bringing him/her to your holiday party. You’re there to celebrate and bond with coworkers, not to babysit the Tinder train wreck.
11. The Relationship is New and He/She is a Competitor
It’s always awkward to date someone who is in a competing company as you are. Unless you’ve been dating him/her for a while now and your coworkers (and boss) are already familiar with them, don’t create any tension by showing up with him/her, and inevitably putting them in the awkward situation of having to explain where they work.
12. You Just Met Two Weeks Ago
Even if you’ve spent every free waking moment with the person since meeting at that bar (aka more than six dates) and have found yourself in an insta-relationship that you can’t wait to share with the world, remember that anything that starts on such a high can only go downhill when true personalities and imperfections are revealed. Don’t let this happen at the office party.
Remember, there’s no need to jump the gun when it comes to matter of the heart. If things go well, there’s always next year.
#NOTABLE
Cover image from: Community the TV Show
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